I read one of those posts on Facebook today (which a girl shared to be passive aggressive towards her recent ex…obviously) it read as follows “fall in love with someone who wants to know your favourite colour and just how you like your coffee, fall in love with someone who never wants to hurt you and would love to wake up to you each day” etc. etc.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no expert on love, I have blundered my way through a fair share of unsuccessful and soul destroying relationships and have been guilty of being passive aggressive in the past, although with a little more age and a lot more experience, that turned to fairly direct aggression. But more on that in another post. As I was saying, although I’m not an expert, I am in love. However, he has no idea what my favourite colour is, because I’d choose a different one each day, he has no idea how I like my coffee and couldn’t tell you how to use our shiny coffee machine we picked out together. But he does know that it’s ill advised to talk to me before I’ve had my morning coffee, which is important. He also can and does hurt me, but the majority of the time, he chooses not to, for those few occasions when he does hurt me, he acknowledges and apologises for it (sometimes it takes longer than I’d like, but we get there in the end). He doesn’t buy me flowers to make it better, we talk it out and move forward and grow up a little more together and this for me is really important.
My advice would be choose someone who encourages you to do things that scare the shit out of you, which you know you should be doing. Choose someone who sees your value and potential and who will support you to fulfill that, someone who will take whatever your goal is completely seriously and be your biggest fan, no matter how out of reach it may seem to others. Choose someone who will stand up to you and challenge you, but someone who will also stand up for you and have your back.
But I would say above all choose someone who can make you laugh, cry and orgasm, because these things are important (although these activities may be best experienced separately). If they can’t make you laugh, they will never be your best friend, if they can’t make you cry, they could never break your heart, because you have not trusted them with it and if they can’t make you orgasm…well really I don’t need to explain that bit.